The Minds Labyrinth

Because I love you guys so much and it is the holiday season here is another pants picture of David Bowie from Labyrinth. Am I like some kind of Bowie pants bulge drug dealer? Probably. Should I be giving you guys hits of this particular obsession? Probably not. Am I okay with being known as that weird blog that features his pants? Absolutely. Does this count as a quality post? 

I need to get some things off my chest because if I don't I might go insane pondering it all. It's time to set free what's locked in my head. This will be a serious post.  Update: Just as another warning I am in no way depressed or miserable. I'm simply aimless.  I feel like I'm the captain of a ship floating along in black waters surrounded by nothingness. Everything feels more than a little out of reach and with the baby on the way I'm a bit scared that this feeling will pilot my entire being. I realize that some of you may not want to hear about how lost I feel but this blog exists as a means for me to step outside of being who everyone wants me to be and step into who I truly am. A way to express how I'm feeling or just ramble on about nothing important just to get it out of my head and into a place where it can float freely. I can't exactly understand why I feel so lost and stranded. Why it feels like everything is out of reach and I&#

It all started with an Elvis cup. Okay not really but I wish that was the beginning, in truth that's about the half-way mark. It actually all started with dust. Lots and lots of dust. Husband and I were getting ready for a move closer to my family doctor and well family for more support and all that jazz. . We spent a week doing nothing but packing   We spent a week preparing for the move We spent two days of the two weeks we knew about the move actually packing and the rest pretending to pack while in reality I was procrastinating. It's an illness, I can't help it. My room was a mess. Imagine a tornado, hurricane, earthquake, tsunami all hit at once and that was our bedroom. Our entire floor was coated in a carpet made out of dirty laundry. Like I said, I procrastinate...a lot. The packing stirred the dust and I inhaled it causing me to choke and be hit with a sudden sharp and immobilizing pain near to where I assume the baby is located. I assumed it was nothing and

Happy Halloween to all my bootiful readers! =D. I hope you all enjoyed your "Day of the Dead" festivities. It's the best day of the year in my opinion, it's the one day of the year where it's appropriate to scare little kids and potentially scar them for life, hopefully not to the latter. Today I did just that. I put on some face paint and some cute clothes and sat on a bench just glancing at people passing by. It did the trick. Now to the more pressing matter at hand, firecrackers. I'm all for lighting off the occasional firecracker in celebration but currently it sounds like World War 3 is going on outside my house. Seriously, shrapnel hit the windows. Do that all you want but remember to be safe and consider of the people around. That's all I'm asking. How did you guys spend your Halloween? Leave a comment and let me know!

Part One Part Two Disclaimer, this post contains a few tasteless STD jokes about a computer....reader discretion is advised. Look what's back, another bad luck computer rant! So after breaking two computers last year and going laptopless for a few months I got this little netbook named Mavis. Mavis is a pro, she can run games that a netbook shouldn't but she has one fatal flaw. Mavis is a virus whore.  She likes them, attracts them, sells her body for them. No seriously. I have no bad habits when it comes to computers. I defragment every two months and virus scan once a week. I don't download sketchy files and avoid sketchy websites yet here I am with an STD ridden netbook roaming the streets for a next virus hit. Don't believe me? Here's an example. Today I was out all day at appointments, used my laptop for less than 20 minutes on a safe site and then got a warning saying "Ohhai your computer had unprotected sex and now has a trojan!" Like a

Okay so here's the big news for all of you, I'm pregnant, about four months to be exact. Everyone tells you when you're pregnant it will be a good time, you'll glow and the baby will move and it's special happy fun time. Here's the truth in the matter, it's miserable.  I spend almost all day throwing up and all night trying to get comfy with this extra large stomach praying for the day I deliver this bundle of hormones, tears, and poop. There's also the pills. Two so I stop throwing up the contents of my stomach and one so the baby gets all its vitamins and grows big and strong...Hulk baby? Sorry sorry. Hulk baby enjoying the special happy fun time.  Now don't get me wrong, a large tummy and some puke are nothing compared to the magic of the baby. I really am excited to start this journey, scared shitless, but excited. So I welcome you all to join me on this journey that will be filled with wit and adventures and magical babies!

Today my beloved pet rabbit died. I've posted about her a few times  ( here and here ). She was my best friend and partner in crime for the better part of 4 years. A cute little bundle of headaches, cuddles, loves, and the occasional scratch or bite. I loved her and she loved me and we were best bunny buddies =(. It was old age and I can live with that. She had a good life and a big personality. Never a dull moment with her. She will be missed. Sweet dreams Pepper Pancakes 2009-2013 <3.

So I checked my all time stats today. One of the most used phrases to find my blog is "david bowie labyrinth pants". You guys are so wonderfully strange and I'm glad I can help you find your David Bowie pants filled happy place. At first I was horribly confused. Then I realized that even David Bowie is mesmerized by those pants. This came up when I googled it. Whoever made this picture is my hero. Keep being awesome you delightful weirdos.

My current emotional state can be summed up in one guttural noise, think Kristen Stewart in Twilight. Just a blank zombie expression and a guttural cave man noise. Nice to meet you, I'm Uuug. Okay in all seriousness I'm back for the most part. Not posting every week back, but back nonetheless. As a welcome back I think I should dive right into a popular creature that we all love, zombies. They're mindless human eating machines that think brains are quite tasty thank you very much. Lately I've found myself more or less obsessed with the whole "zombie" genre. Zombie games, movies, books, pictures, mythology, it all fascinates and terrifies me. What would I do in a zombie apocalypse? Would I survive? Would I just end myself before I got torn to shreds by teeth and nails? The conclusion I reached is simple, I would try to survive and if that failed I'd keep a spare bit of ammo in case I swarmed with no hope of living. Morbid right? Good moving on

Dear Don't Starve, This:                  Is not okay. Why would you even make living forests? ;-; Sincerely DandieLyon.

Okay so here it goes, the whole truth on what I'm feeling.  Lately my life has kinda come to a complete stand still. The days run together like one long never ending day and I find myself trying to figure  out how things are changing when everything feels like it's standing completely still.  Gathering my thoughts is hard enough when it comes to talking let alone spilling my them into my blogs. For the first time in my entire life  blank. Blank but racing.  I'm confused and just generally lost. The world is spinning around me and I'm standing still, going nowhere.  I don't know where this came from or how long it's going to last but I'll get over it.  Thanks to all of you guys that read my posts, I really appreciate it. Feels like for once I'm talking and it's worth while.  Okay ramble over. I'll post again soon, I hope. 

Okay so this whole posting all the time is clearly not one of my strong points. As of late I've felt kind of lost, I don't know what to do or where to go half the time I don't even feel like I exist, just an empty shell floating around the world. This is preventing me from constant updates. I feel to lost to write much of anything that makes sense and to be honest it's a little bit concerning to not know where your life is going, like a lost spirit searching for something to make it feel whole again. Don't be concerned about the content of this post, I'm sure in due time this problem will be fixed but until then updates may be far between. One more update, I'm still sick with whatever plague decided to live in my throat and I am still 100% unsure as to what it is. Now to tide you all over until my next post here's a penguin in a tux:

So this tale happened today actually. It all started when I went to shower, an everyday activity for me. I showered and went to wrap up my hair when a giant something fell into the tub. It was the size of a finger and wiggling around like a little cylindrical death machine of legs. It was a centipede. A huge motherfucking centipede wiggling in the tub after taking a leap of faith from my towel. It went all LEROY JENKINS and leaped. Time froze as I looked at it and it looked at me, both mutually disgruntled. Okay okay enough theatrics. I spotted it, threw my towel, jumped from the tub wrapped up in a different towel and screamed bloody murder while running to my boyfriend begging for help oh and lets not forget the bawling miserably. Twenty minutes went by and I finally emerged, boyfriend in tow, wiping my eyes and sniffling. It took about an hour before anyone could convince me there wasn't an army of centipedes trying to make their home in my body. Time past and I contentl

Being a grown up sucks. As a child all we hope for is to grow up and live on our own, out of school, no parents, eating what we want when we want it. Cookies for dinner? Hell yes I want cookies for dinner. And yet here I am, a complete grown up, and I yearn for the naive innocence of child hood. I find myself wishing I could live in Neverland and, like Peter Pan, never grow up. Live a child for all eternity, no bills, no groceries, stress free. Over the years of being grown up and posting here about my daily life I've noticed that I've grown strange. Less insightful, a pretentious anti-hipster hipster somethingorother writing my nonsense to no one in particular. All I wanted was to be heard and here I am, being listened to by people. To those of you reading this I thank you. Anyway, the more pressing matter here is that I will soon be posting once a week in a series called "You don't know the half of it". This series will be dedicated to telling the storie

Due to my constant neglect of posts I have decided to do another stream of consciousness. Ready? Here goes nothing. I'm tired. That's not unusual for me though because I am seriously nocturnal now...like I go to bed at 8am and wake up at like dinner time most of the time...is that healthy? Probably not. It's only 11:30 and I want to sleep, why is that? Is my lack of sleep catching up with me? Probably... It's boring doing nothing all day. I miss school...I mean learning sucks but at least I'd be doing something. Lack of doing shit is causing me to lack posting ideas which means you all go without posts. I want to experiment and see if I can roundhouse kick a small tree down. Have you ever looked at a small tree and thought "Hey I could roundhouse kick that fucker down!" No...that's weird you say? Well screw you then! Okay fine...maybe you didn't say that...maybe I said that because I know I'm weird... I'm also a manly space dolphin.

So remember in this post when I said I can't handle Tylenol? Here's an example of this for everyone out there. One night I had a cold and was staying at my grandma's house. My grandma, like all grandmothers, wanted me to be healthy and fed me two Gravol, two Tylenol nighttime pills, and another extra strength Tylenol for good measure. In about a half hour I was loopy as all hell. I was sharing a room with my little brother at the time and he vividly remembers, as all little brothers do when their sisters do something embarrassing, everything I said and did that night. It all started when he farted. I looked insane and I heard colors. Pretty sure. Brother : *farts* Me : Is your butt a trumpet? Brother : Um? Me : You should take that butt trumpet and start a marching band Brother : No. A fartching band That was followed by my friend telling me there was a purple unicorn named Bob beside me Which was followed by me deciding that I wanted to be made of j

Vacations are a time for rest, relaxation, and fun, they're a time to kick back and throw your troubles away. That is the mindset I took with me on the long needed break from the stress of being sick for the vacation at boyfriend's house. We got to the island and I was excited to spend time with him, equipped with my new medicine and a love of exploring places. Vacation yay! Day one went like this "Oooh I have money let's go on a date!" followed by a lovely dinner, movie and early bedtime. Day two: I feel kinda sick...oh and people from home are calling me and begging me to come home so now I'm miserable and depressed. Day three: Oh bugger...I have a fever and am still miserable. Day four: I...can't get out of bed... Dying again ;-; And so on. My vacation has been spent sick and in bed or on the couch watching Game of Thrones (new addiction) and longing for the sunshine. We managed to get me out of bed long enough for two family dinners

Update for all of you! After 10 long days on penicillin and feeling better I rejoiced to the gods for giving me my health back! Then 2 days later my mutant disease came back twice as bad to the point of not being able to breathe. I've been put on a new antibiotic that I kind of hate with a passion and should be not dead soon. If I die I leave my xbox to my lovely roommates and boyfriend, they each get a third.

I am currently dying from some mutant form of strep throat that is all "Hey dude, I'm going to live in your throat and make your entire life a living hell from now on and make you potentially need the hospital and then you'll be scared and on a metric fuck ton of antibiotics and boyfriend will be freaking out but there's nothing you can do because i'm a mutant form of strep throat that lives to make your life a living hell!" Last night before bed my mutation decided it was going to make me cough...for an hour straight. It got to the point that I was curled in a ball on the kitchen floor crying while boyfriend was trying to figure out what was wrong without me being able to speak to him. Boyfriend:  Are you okay? Me:  *shakes head* Boyfriend:  Are you going to be okay? Me:  *shakes head and coughs like a dying person* Boyfriend:  Is your throat irritated? Me: * nods while coughing* Boyfriend:  Do you want something warm or cold for it? Like a Popsicle or tea?

More random facts about me =D. If you haven't read part one click here =3 1. I'm allergic to lemons 2. Glee is another guilty pleasure of mine... 3. Im a bookworm. 4. I am one of the hardest people to understand because usually my brain is so chaotic that even I don't know what I'm thinking and asking me what I'm thinking will just make me think about what I'm thinking and then I start thinking about how I'm thinking about what I'm thinking just to give an answer to the simple question "What are you thinking?" 5. I lack focus 6. I'm incredibly irrational when it comes to certain things. 7. I one day want to own a zoo. I want to be an author that owns a zoo. 8. I need cute things to live. No seriously. If there isn't something distractingly cute near me I usually get really sad and question the purpose of a life void of cuteness and the world becomes a really dark and scary place and I kinda feel like Snow White walking t

Last night was a night of adventure and totally fun times, okay that's a flat out lie. Last night was a night of rage and anger. I have a swollen gland under my chin, so naturally I'm dying. After taking some tylenol I found myself filled with a ridiculous amount of overheating resulting in boyfriend being oh so unimpressed that I kept him up so late. By 6:30, two hours later, I had finally given up on any chance of cooling down and fell asleep. Then boyfriends phone went off. I am not at all a person you want to wake up, I am irritable and mean if woken up having got less than 5 hours of sleep. In my half asleep state I turned to boyfriend and said in an icy calm voice "If she doesn't stop texting you I will knife the bitch." Before saying "just kidding" and promptly rolling back away from him while flinging my rays of anger at his face, hoping my anger would cause him to politely tell her to fuck off. On a side note, for all you people out there,

Dear sickness, I would greatly appreciate it if you would kindly fuck off. Staying up until 5:30 in the morning because of you isn't fun and the cold medicine isn't helping. I greatly need a few more hours of sleep and when you keep me up I keep boyfriend up by accident making us both extremely tired. Also, cold medicine, your side effect of making me really warm doesn't help either because you put me in a near coma like state and that coupled with being too warm makes me irritable. Now dear sickness I'd like for you to go home and rethink your career move, making people sick doesn't help anyone. Go be a productive member of society and make people better. Sincerely, Dandielyon

So it's that time again, time for some long overdue updates on my life and the status of my blog. Updates come first, as usual. First and most excitingly, I moved out of my mom's house and into my own house with my bestfriend, a cute little basement suite with a tiny kitchen that is permamessy. Second, me and boyfriend broke up about two months ago, but that's okay because this leads into the third update, I have a new boyfriend. Now for the blog status, after a temporary halt in the publishing of Non-Mainstream, I am pleased to announce that it will be back either this week or next. On it's own website! Go to The Hipster Bible to check it out, new post this monday or next. The temporary hiatus on this site is broken and I shall try to post more frequently for those of you lovely people that still read what I have to say. After a short period of feeling blue and spacey I have found the source of that and am now able to overcome it and be my awkwardly charming

I'm not sure if any of you know this but I have a severe fear of spiders. They scare me half to death and I've been known to actually try and leave my house for good because a spider was seen somewhere. This is silly I know but they creep the shit out of me. Why can't real spiders be this cute?! Today is an example of why spiders suck. I was having a shower and looked down to see something in the water so I looked closer and saw a giant spider. There was a second where time froze followed by a small squeak, my voice wasn't allowing for screams of terror, and me running out of the bathroom so fast I barely had time to grab my towel and turn off the shower. It was dead but it was there and I am now scarred by the knowledge that I just had a shower with a spider. I mean where was it? On my shampoo? On my soap? *shudder* If you guys have any scary spider stories feel free to leave a comment!