Not My Finer Moments.

You know what I love? Those moments where you say or do something so unbelievably stupid that people actually take a second to comprehend how someone could function with that little thought. Those moments have happened to everyone, let's be honest.

I have had more than one moment like that. These two examples really stick out.

When I was nine I had this brilliant idea, well brilliant to me anyway. My sister had just gotten a pair of roller blades and I thought "Why don't I use them?" Well seeing as I am clumsy to an almost shocking degree at times and had never been on roller blades my best friend strongly encouraged me against doing something this dangerous.

Being stubborn I Ignored her advice and suited up. I slowly got to my feet and clumsily skated around the hallway to the kitchen and back again. I was gaining speed and balance so I let go of my balancing walls and skated freely. I felt magical. Like I was free.

My moms boyfriend thought it would be fun to chase me and I laughed and skated at top speed down the hall and turned toward the kitchen. Turns out my turning was faulty and I fell. Hard. On a marble floor.

Turns out I fractured my wrist.

This next event is from when I was thirteen and camping with my family and best friend. We were talking in our tent when a stroke of sheer brilliance came over me. You know how the size of your fists together is supposedly the size of your brain? Good remember that fact.

Well a thought came over my mind and I considered it to be a smart fact that needed answers. I stepped out of the tent and went to the grown ups to ask "Mom, if you lose brain cells do your hands shrink?"

The adults went silent for about 5 seconds before laughing really hard. It was then that I realized I had either said something really stupid or some hilarious-invisible-to-children thing had happened in the 5 second silence.

Well there you have it, some moments where I was supremely lacking in intelligence and the ability to tell when something is a really bad idea.

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