Explosion of Anger and Curse Words.

Just a warning for all of you, this post will contain a fair amount of cussing and anger. If that's not your cup of tea please turn back now. 

It all started with a goddamn diaper genie. The source of my mother fucking problems is the size of a small child and exists to dispose of baby shit. What is this about you may ask? Welcome to Dandie's Story hour where I greet the world with a great big fuck you.

It's been one hell of a week. It started last night when my son was up all night throwing up because teething, that's a thing, So we were up until roughly 8am before he fell asleep, not too bad right? Wrong. It was Mother's Day here, the corporate holiday that exists to make mom's feel like they're worth it, and my sister decided to ditch me and go to my mom's on her own making me look like a massive dick and her look great!

Then the topping on the shit cake happened. There was a knock on the door so naturally fiance answered. The landlords decided they had to come in to clean up water that had spilled in our house, I'll get to that in a second, and wouldn't listen to us saying that we could get it.

The next thing that happened is so fucked that I can't even put into words my anger and frustration. After trying to ask to come in and that failed landlord decided to force his head into my house to look around and flipped shit, seriously hell opened under his feet and demons poured onto us.

He saw a pack of diapers and flipped shit about diapers being out, he saw a grocery bag and flipped about that, he threw our garbage cans, and then the crowning fucking moment, he pushed fiance to try and get into my goddamn house without our consent. Standing his ground fiance told him that's not legal and to please stop.

This is where the diaper genie comes in. After seeing our empty garbage cans this conversation (roughly) followed

Him: What, are our garbage cans not good enough?
Fiance: No they're fine but we use a diaper genie and when that's full we move it into the cans outside
Him: That's not a real thing
Fiance: You've never heard of it?
Him: No
Fiance: Oh. It's a container for diapers that seals the bag and has baking soda to block the smell
Him: It's not real
Fiance: ...Yes it is.
Him: You're lying and I'm talking to my wife about evicting you.

What in the ever living fuck is wrong with this man? Please explain to me where all the dirty diapers are going if they aren't going in the diaper genie that I can see right in front of me. Into the fucking air? That's right I forgot, I went to Hogwarts and asked them how to make diapers disappear. I'm a fucking wizard.

Now back to the whole reason this goddamn thing happened, the water. How in the fuck did he know there was water on the floor? Is he Superman? Of course not because Superman could see the fucking diaper genie because his x-ray vision isn't down for repairs. Did he guess? That's an oddly specific guess. I'm at a complete fucking loss as to how he knew that there would be water there unless he had come into my house. Now this wasn't a lot of water. It was a drop. A drop we didn't even know about until he knocked. He claims it was from pressure washing the cement outside our door. I can't understand this. I really can't.

Look I'm understanding, I'm forgiving to a fault, but all I can say to this assnugget is fuck you. I'm being evicted because you don't believe in diaper genies and that's fucked. You take it back? Go fuck yourself. You say sorry? Go fuck yourself. I'm done.