Notes To The Hospital

Just a quick note before I begin, I was admitted into hospital and after various tests was told I had a potentially life threatening condition called pancreatitis. I was admitted into the hospital for four days and sent home begrudgingly until I have surgery to get my gallbladder out. These are my notes to the staff, patients, and general people at the hospital while I was there.

Dear Nurses,
Last time I checked giving a patient morphine that wasn't doctor ordered or asked for by a patient while they're asleep no less isn't legal. You should probably not do that to anyone else.

Dear Family Doctor,
Thank you for taking the time to make social visits to be sure I was okay. That was sweet and really out of character. Stay awesome.

Dear Elderly Woman in the chair across from me in Emergency,
Thank you for making me a little less lonely while I was there alone. It was nice to have someone to talk to and you were really sweet.

Dear Hospital Staff,
Thanks for the deluxe hallway bed. It was A+.

Dear Crazy Indian Man,
I was told to go into your room to use the bathroom and honestly have no idea what you're shouting at me as I don't speak your language. You frightened me and honestly made me almost pee my pants a few times. It's really not nice to shout. Also you shouted at the nice man in the bed beside you for coughing and that's really uncalled for. You get an F in people skills.

Dear Family Of The Crazy Indian Man,
I was reading a creepy Sherlock story at the time you all decided to stop talking and stare intently at me. Again as I don't speak your language I have no idea as to the context and it was a little creepy. You should not do that to anyone.

Dear Man Sharing a room with crazy Indian man,
I really hope you didn't die. You were nice about my nightly intrusions to borrow your bathroom and last I saw you were being moved after a particularly bad coughing spell. I wish you the best.

Dear Specialist,
Thanks for the camera down my throat. I'm sure it helped somehow but as you didn't talk to me after the procedure or give me instructions for going home or even tell me what you did I'll never know. Also your bedside manner rivals Jack from Lost. Telling a patient "It's safe. Lots of people have it, everyone in this room is having it, though people have been known to bleed a lot after. But it's okay. We usually catch it before they die" is not a good way to calm their nerves. A+ on your skills. Just kidding. F----- See? I can give you false hope too.

And finally,

Dear Me,
I don't care how beautiful Kit Harrington is do not watch Silent Hill. You can't handle scary movies and watching Silent Hill the night before going to the hospital wasn't a good idea. Nurses become a billion times scarier when you're in a pitch black hallway alone with Silent Hill running in your head. Not even the beautifullness of Kit Harrington can calm your fried nerves. You get A+ in dumb.